The Extroverted Introvert

Have you ever had a week where you were told or shown that you've been doing a lot of stuff wrong and then, even when you realised it and tried to make it right, you came to the understanding that it wasn't YOU, but rather, Satan, sifting those around you to twist others' perceptions and views?  Its NOT very fun to be a part of that.  But, that is the world we live in.

Its not like we can turn around and walk away from those we live with, be it family, friends, church members, school or work mates.  You kinda need to suck it up and deal.  So really, how does a person DEAL with these feelings of disappointment, discouragement and grief?

You ALWAYS get a choice.

You can, indeed, walk away from everything.  This is one of those choices that seems right, especially if its become a pattern in the lives of those causing the grief. 

You can also stay put and dig your stinkin' heels in.  You can, in effect, stand in the gap for those that you are to love and serve.  Yeah, yeah, I know-"Love these people!?  They sure ain't lovely."  Nope.  People are rarely lovely and loveable.  I'M rarely lovely and loveable.  I've always said my husband got the raw deal because he didn't end up with a sweet, passive wife.  Nope.

I'm firey, I talk back and I think about what you've said.  I let you know when and where I agree or disagree.  I guess I assume that people, when engaging me, expect the dialog.

As I continue to adjust to life here in the Midwest, I'm struck by how introverted I really am.  Being introverted doesn't always mean that you are painfully shy.  It simply means that you prefer being in the company of ONE-Yourself.  It also means that you find small talk extremely painful.  For those who have met me in real life, you know exactly what this means. 

I often come across as condescending and arrogant.  Not wanting to waste my time and energy, small talk is one of those social norms that continues to plague me.  I don't "do" chitchat!  My poor husband has learned that, when I want to talk about something, I don't beat around the bush.  You can only imagine what happens when I get around chatty women...yikes!  They think my silence is a mask for insecurity and/or the fact that I do not like them.  While, yes, I often have a running dialog in my brain that is answering you if you are speaking to me without allowing me to answer you properly (and I can assure you that you do NOT want me to divulge what is inside my head!), I am most likely doing two things at once: one, answering you very carefully-there is not wisdom in many words- and two, trying very carefully and painfully detect your body language.  This "reading" does not come easy to me.  Its a learned and practiced art form.  If I happen to miss some of your signals, its totally ok to get very blunt and forward with me.  Tell me what you need from me.  If I can, I will certainly give it.

The other thing I struggle with is not the company of others, its the constant need to entertain whomever is near me.  For reasons beyond my capacity to explain, I do not enjoy company that cannot sit in companionable silence with me.  I am not a phone talker, I do not seek out others for "tea and company."  If you want to be with me, then come and be with me.  Its totally ok with me if you become enamored of something else besides me whilst in my presence or home.  It is not offensive.  It kinda tells me that you really do like me and want to be around me.  It makes me feel safe and secure to know that someone is there and while they are there, they aren't trying to command every moment of my life.  That gets old pretty quick.

Its been interesting to figure out all this stuff lately.  Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Talk to me about yourself. 

As always, thanks for reading.

Up next, a v-log about weightloss, hopefully.

Greetings from Indianapolis, Indiana! 


Because I have oh-so-much time on my hands these days, I figured I'd sit right down and post an entry in my blog.  Today finds me busy and in the middle of a new school year after spending two grueling months moving eight hundred miles from Montrose, PA to Indianapolis, Indiana.

That's a big move, you're thinking.  Why yes, yes it is.  Why such a large change?  Well, God moved us.  It's as simply-put as that.  Don wanted to get back into vocational ministry full-time, so he began asking around.  He knew a guy who knew a guy, etc, etc. and that was back in January.  September finds us having sold our gorgeous land and home in NEPA and then moving into a home twice as large in Indy, with a teeny little yard.  I cannot tell a lie and say that I love having super close neighbors, but its pretty cool that on one side of us, there is a vacant home owned by the bank and on the other side is a rental and the girls is NEVER there.  Its kinda like he is easing us into the big change.  I can deal with neighbors so long as I can go into my own home and be by myself.

I must say that the Midwest agrees with me.  In spite of the crazy weather-you really can experience all four seasons in one day-the people here are incredibly nice.  They are patient and very salt-of-the-earth.  I've always wanted to go west and not south so that we can experience the seasons.  The four seasons are important to me.  I feel that there is so little that I have left to experience in this life other than the things God gave us in His Creation.  I probably should say that I am interested in little other than the things God gave us in His Creation.

That said, I am missing my garden and friends in a terrible way.  Someone brought me a bushel of tomatoes Monday and lessened the homesickness greatly.  Such a sweet person to care enough about the things I value.  People and relationships matter, don't they?

I'm making a ton of new friends and while I am, I am learning a lot about myself and how I have changed as I've advanced in years.  I learned that I am totally fine to be by myself the majority of my life.  Now, that doesn't mean I don't need people and friends, I do!  It just means that I thrive best when I am by myself.  See, now my sweet husband is the exact opposite in that, if we lived in a commune, Don would STILL invite people over.  I have to come home after a social gathering and "recoup."  I am and have always been, a loner.  Both of my parents are loners too!  My dad has never been married and most likely never will be.  My mom can live with other people, but she does best when by herself.  I come by it honestly.

Well, I could go on and on here, but it is time for the day to end.  It feels as though it just began.  We are up at 7:30 here most days, so feel free to call or text me.  If you need my new number, feel free to ask.  We no longer have a house phone and I am so glad!  It is worth the extra per month to have the iPhone 4S.  Ok, so I'm off for now and should be posting a bit more regular-like.  Have a great rest of your week.

This photo is credited to Amazon dot com

BOOK PREVIEW: Demon: A Memoir by Tosca Lee 

Mrs. Reid (the Children's Librarian) from the Susquehanna County Library in Montrose, PA rec'ced (reccommended) this book to me yesterday.  Now, I know what you're thinking.  "That's not a book a "Christian" ought to be reading.   Au contraire, my friends, you should never judge a book by its cover.  Quite the opposite.  So long as its not what my husband calls "girl porn," its fodder for me to read.  (And let me assure you, it happens to be my own decision to abstain from that particular genre.)

I am super excited when authors who claim Christ put out interesting things to read.  Life is not all about hurt, disappointment, depression and anxiety.  This might be the case for some, but some of us lead fairly healthy lives and enjoy reading fiction that doesn't leave you bawling your eyes out for two weeks omw, never read Jeanette Oake and T. Davis Bunn, EVER straight. 

The first chapter totally has me hooked like a fat kid on bacon!  Not only did the mood and tone open in a dark and dismal way, the author allowed herself to step outside the normal physical description of a demon!  Bravo, Lee!  I cannot wait to download this onto my Nook!

At first, I thought maybe this week's blog post would end up more along the lines of bashing Creflo Dollar.  However, I was once again reminded that my thoughts about his recent visit to the Joint are irrelevant and how, really, I was not there, nor do I have all of the facts.  It would be within my and my readers' best interest to refrain from commenting on how I view this latest altercation and smear on Mr. Dollar's character.  So I actually listened to myself this time!  Good on me!

If you have any really GREAT reads, please forward them to me!  I intend for this newest to captivate me like those old Frank Peretti books did.  (Speaking of, have you allowed your children to read his Cooper Kids Adventure Series?  Please do!)

 

I love where I live.  Northeastern Pennsylvania is a truly beautiful place to live and work.  The people here are hard workers, dedicated to their communities and very accepting of outsiders, considering the reputation of "Yankees" being somewhat...snooty?  We definitely have the reputation of being rude, unfriendly and quick to judge.  I don't really find this to be the case, but I think that this is my opinion because I've lived in either New York or Pennsylvania all my life.  Living in a culture definitely makes you less sensitive to it's idiosyncrasies. 

The picture above is the field right next to our home.  Its a beautiful time of year and while my oldest suffers from "hayfever," watching the bright green John Deere "poop" out the big, round bales and then being present for the process to begin all over again really allows you to understand who the people of Pennsylvania are.

They are dedicated.  They are patient.  They are content.

It takes an awful lot of patience, dedication and contentedness to mow these fields three to four times a year in the blazing hot sun, then teach your children to not only do the job well, but love it and want to remain where they grew up. 

Depending on how you interpret the data, Pennsylvania is experiencing a slow growth.  I was reading my issue of Penn Lines magazine that comes to the house every month and Kathy Hackelman wrote a eye-opening article about the population of rural PA in contrast to the rest of the rural United States.  Hackelman has concluded that Pennsylvania is a snapshot of the United States as a whole; PA reflects the U.S.'s rural population ratio.

Cool fact:  There is a thirty-eight minute difference from when the sun rises on the eastern side of Pennsylvania compared to the western side.

I thought that was interesting!  Having lived on both sides of PA, I never noticed the difference.  I bet no one else has either.

This is a picure of our home here in rural northeast PA.  We have a chocolate labrador, a ranch home with a walk-out basement and a minivan in our driveway.  Does it get much more "American" than this?  Why yes, yes it does!  This is one of the truly amazing aspects of being an American.  There is no "one way" to be American.  We all hear the sterotypes of baseball and apple pie, but chop suey, gyros, and naan are just as "American."  We are diverse and I, for one, revel in that diversity.  Truly.  I mean, I hear people say that they love it that there are all different types of people in the U.S., but boy-oh-boy, when it comes to illegal aliens being taken care of by our tax dollars, phew, the real opinions begin to fly! 

Now, I'm not saying that the people here illegally shouldn't be dealt with, but how can we do it in a way that is kind and helpful?  Deporting them just so they turn around and come back might not be the most helpful thing either.  I don't know the enswer, but I do know that they are people.  Human beings that have souls and matter to God and therefore, must matter to me too.

I have so many many thoughts floating around in my head today.

Pintrest ideas, packing, laundry, what will I make for supper tonight, who will I vote for this November, selling this house and purchasing another...so many thoughts.

Anyway, on to packing and laundry because those are the two easiest today.  Have a great day and I'll be posting again soon, I'm sure.

 

Our children learn decorum at the WWII Monument in Washington, D.C.

Today is Memorial Day!  I love Memorial Day for many reasons.  Who doesn't love a good cookout, parade, promise of or the advent of Summer?  Of course, I am thankful for my freedom.   We all are!  Without freedom here in the United States, I would not be able to speak of God in the ways that I do.  I really have no frame of reference for accepting persecution.  Do you?  Have you ever been persecuted (and I mean truly "harassed or punished in a manner designed to injure, grieve, or afflict") or abandoned for the sake of the Gospel?  I have not.  This does exist in today's world.  In fact, Voice of the Maryrs is an organization dedicated to the persecuted followers of Jesus Christ around the world.

The organization exists so to raise awareness of the plight of the persecuted Church.  I am so thankful for organizations like this because they help believers take the actions necessary to help in the ways that are possible.  They connect Priviledge with Reality.

This Memorial Day, be sure to say thank you to the service men and women that cross your paths.  Say thank you because they are not only sacrificing time with their family and friends to serve our country, but they are laying their lives on the line so that we can remain FREE to observe the Bill of Rights and say the things we want to say, behave the way we see fit and interact with other people however we want.  They live for you to have an opportunity to experience freedom.

If, by chance, there is someone in your life that you know who has been persecuted for their religious beliefs, take a moment to pray, thank God for their heart and the courage to stand up for the Purpose of the Gospel.   Give God the glory for their life because they stood and allowed themselves to be used to our Ultimate Purpose: To Give God Glory!  May it ever be so with us.

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." -- General George Patton 

Happy Memorial Day!

From the Beginning of the End

What does it mean to "begin at the beginning?"  Some things have no beginning and therefore, have no end.  Ahh, I would put it to you that there is a beginning to all things here in this world, bound by the Universe and therefore, bound by time.

Are there any among my readers who enjoy Science Fiction?  We are a family in love with SciFi.  We love Star Trek, Star Wars (which, really, is a Western set in Space), FireFly, and many many more movies which would take the rest of the page to list. 

(THEY ARE MAKING Ender's Game into a movie!?) 

I tell you this because there will most likely be many references to Science Fiction shows and movies within this blog.  Now, that is not all that I will offer you here; however, I feel advance warning is appropriate and necessary because here in our home, we are known to speak to one another in what we call, "Movie Language."  This means that we talk to one another using quotes from our favorite movies.  I have been known to look up a movie quote just to get a point across to my husband (whom you will meet later).  If I (and I mean "we") happen to be speaking two different languages one day and are both failing to connect, we break out the "Movie Language."  This usually lightens things up enough that we can laugh at ourselves and begin to understand what it is that we are trying to communicate.

Laughter is key in marriage and friendships.  Which, in essence, is what this blog will be about.  I had another name picked out for this place, (Leighf, Love and the Hot Pursuit) but "Ab Origine Ad Finem" is much more appropriate because it allows me to think openly about life, love and pursuing...well, whatever it is that I want. 

What is it that you want from life?  What is it that drives you to begin something?  Hobbies, relationships, the reading of books, the writing of books, certain tasks, and so on?  Each post of this blog will have a different flavor, a different theme.  It will simply be a reflection of myself and our family as we grow.  There will be quite a bit in here about God, because He is the Creator and I would be remiss if I did not give Him his place as the true "Beginning." 

And yes, there will be a video of me from time to time.  I am open to ideas and questions as well!  So ask away!

I am so excited to start. 

"We come to beginnings only at the end." William Throsby Bridges